I'm the best guy in the world. Some people can't appreciate that - they're idiots.
In fact I'm so great that thinking about me is like masturbation. God even lusts after me, but I tell him that his love cannot be.
Some people say they feel like they're on top of the world. They're stupid assholes, everyone is on top of the world except miners and deep sea explorers, and they're crap too. I haven't got their low self-esteem, because they suck so hard they keep it to themselves.
I look slightly brighter than everyone else, because when light reflects off me it's that little bit more awesome for having touched me.
I'm on top of the the top universe. I'm the best person ever. Even when I lie down at night to go to sleep, if I talk during my sleep, I'll be talking down to you. I'm that awesome.
There is only one thing I've never succeeded at, and that's failing. I just couldn't manage it.
Foxes are cool, too. What other animal has to be hunted down by an entire army to be killed? Even then, they're hard to catch. Foxes are cool enough to be given automatic weapons.